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George W. Bush To-Do List Top Ten Items On George W. Bush's To-Do List
- December 15, 2000 - by David Letterman

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   George W. Bush To-Do List

10. Get fitted for an intern
9. Put favorite holiday decoration on front lawn: Santa in electric chair
8. Goodbye "Hail to the Chief" -- Hello "Messed Up In Mexico Living on Refried Dreams"
7. Tell Madeleine Albright, "Bill don't live here anymore -- stop the 2am calls"

6. Send Al Gore an FTD "Guess The Supreme Court Likes Me Better, Loser" bouquet
5. Figure out how to make eating squirrel acceptable -- them boys is tasty!
4. Do a little bipartisan work with Hillary, if you know what I mean
3. Tell Al Gore to keep his schedule clear in case things don't work out
2. Call Saddam Hussein, listen to the panic when he hears we got another "President Bush"
1. Thank Katherine Harris by sending her metric ton of mascara

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