It is difficult to find anything entertaining about a death. But sometimes, humor can be found where least
likely. Cemeteries, for example, can be startlingly funny to the uninitiated. Many epitaphs are unintentionally,
and sometimes, intentionally, amusing. Some epitaphs are unique and very revealing.
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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays Butch, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.
Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
On Roger norton:- Here lies, alas! poor Roger Norton. Whose sudden death was oddly brought on! Trying one day his corns to mow off, The razor slipped and cut his toe off! The toe, or rather what it grew to, An inflammation quickly flew to; The part then took to mortifying, Which was the cause of Roger's dying.
In Bedlington Churchyard, Durham:- Poems and epitaphs are but stuff: Here lies Robert Burrows, that's enough.
The following is in the Necropolis, Glasgow;- Here lyes Bessy Bell But whereabouts, I cannot tell.
On a Hen-Pecked Clock-Maker. There is an old monument in the churchyard of Hoddam, Dumfriesshire, which formerly bore the following description:- Here lyes a mon, who all his mortal life, Passed mending clocks, but could not mend his wife. The 'larum of his bell was ne'er sae shrill As was her tongue, aye clacking like a mill, But now he's gane- oh, whither? nane can tell- I hope beyond the sound o' Mally's bell.
In Doncaster Churchyard. Here lies 2 brothers by misfortune serounded, One dy'd of his wounds, and the other was drownded.
On an infant eight months old. Since I have been so quickly done for, I wonder what I was begun for.
Here doth lye the bodie Of John Flye, who did die By a stroke from a sky-rocket Which hit him on the eye-socket.
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