Bar is the place where humans go for fun and spend their time in eternity. So how can you have a Bar without jokes with so many drunks around? This is the place about drunks, drinking, beer, alcoholic beverages, and as you would see NO ONE or Nothing is spared when it comes to humor in a bar Search
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Nice answer
A Pittsburgh Steelers fan is drinking in a Cleveland bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Pittsburgh baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Steelers fan just shrugs and replies: "That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical Pittsburgh baby boy. He's gonna be a Pittsburgh Steelers football player." Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of "WOW!" One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says: "Say, aren't you the father of that typical Pittsburgh baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers: "Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!" The Steelers fan father takes a slow swig of his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says: "HAD HIM CIRCUMCISED!!!."
Nice answer
A Pittsburgh Steelers fan is drinking in a Cleveland bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Pittsburgh baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Steelers fan just shrugs and replies: "That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical Pittsburgh baby boy. He's gonna be a Pittsburgh Steelers football player." Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of "WOW!" One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says: "Say, aren't you the father of that typical Pittsburgh baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers: "Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!" The Steelers fan father takes a slow swig of his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says: "HAD HIM CIRCUMCISED!!!."
Wife's Photograph
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he asks the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and asks the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The man replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
Wife runs away with Best Friend
A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him. "Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing?" I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?" Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend." He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp. "But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!" The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore!"
Who was Drunker
Three women had a very late night drinking Budweiser. They left in the early morning hours and went home separately. They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first gal claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house and as soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks!!" To which the second gal replied, "You think that was drunk? I got in my car, drove out of the parking lot, and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!" And the third proclaimed, "I was by far the most drunk. I got home, got in a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down! They all looked at each other for a moment. Then the first gal says, "Ladies, I don't think you understand. Chunks is my dog!!!"
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