Funny Puns

GigglePEDIA A pun is a phrase that deliberately exploits confusion between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect. These are a common source of humor in jokes and comedy shows. They are often used in the punchline of a joke, where they typically give a humorous meaning to a rather perplexing story!
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 George Westinghouse was a refrigerator magnate.
 I can't really see myself without eyes.
 Retired teachers are classless.
 The oil well driller had a boring job.
 I couldn't stand to be without my legs.
 In certain sexual harassment cases things can get kind of touchy.
 Why not take a break in the south of France? You've nothing Toulouse.
 To be a mountain climber one needs to be in peak condition.
 A podiatrist knows defeat.
 I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.
 The dairy farmer skimmed his herd and then condensed it.
 A dairy farmer had a heifer dozen calves.
 With loggers -- using a chain saw is axio-matic.
 A discussion of digging a new mine shaft was too deep for him.
 A fisher named Annette really got caught up in her work.
 You won't often catch loggers or farmers going against the grain.
 Shepherds are sheepish people who don't like staff meetings.
 A contest held by fire fighters is called a 'match'.
 Funny loggers like to humor wood.
 His dairy herd became a cash cow.
 Fishermen know how to string you a line.
 When looking for diggers an oil company's last task is a farewell bid on a fair well bid.
 Old chicken farmers never die, they just have a dozen aches.
 An apple farmer with poor yields has to get to the core of the problem.
 When a fisherman takes a container with him he wants to fillet.
 He owned a fish farm until he poured out his sole.
 Old shepherds never die, they just keep spinning yarns.
 When the boy became a farm hand, he grew another foot.
 Lumberjacks have to keep problem logs.
 A fisherman who was also a pianist was an expert with scales.
 Chicken farmers will often share a good yolk.
 It was such a big piece of gold, he didn't know what to assay.
 Farmers are always industrious while industry is always growing.
 Fishers often wet their appetite.
 It's nice to visit a ranch because of the horsepitality.
 A lumberjack who couldn't hack it was given the axe.
 Those who carry barbed wire can easily take a fence to what you say.
 The fire chief was always asked burning questions.
 Farmers have 'my grain' headaches.
 Old lumberjacks never die, they just pine away.
 If you work in a forestry company you will probably have to log your time.
 A farmer wanting to kill a chicken for dinner has to move faster than a speeding pullet.
 At a company where they dig for gold a labor dispute is a miner problem where no one wants to get the shaft.
 Fishers don't have much of a social safety net besides a river bank.
 The forest ranger reunited a mother with her cubs and had to bring all his expertise to bear.
 A low grade miner often feels very down.
 Seafood operations start out on a small scale.
 Cowboys in a rodeo can be sure to get a few bucks.
 Miners with illuminated helmets say it makes them feel lightheaded.
 A cowboy's steers were so funny they were known as the laughing stock.
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