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funny Couple jokes

The wealthy old gentleman and his wife were celebrating their 35th wed.....

At the office, where I worked, there was an angel there.
Her hair w.....

A man decides to have a party and invites lots of people, telling them.....

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 7.....

A young man bought a new pairs of boots of which he was very proud so.....

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th annivers.....

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activi.....

A couple have not been getting a long for years, so the husband thinks.....

The husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapse.....

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me.....

A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive g.....

Husband: Do you know the meaning of W I F E?
It means, Without Info.....

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five i.....

One evening a man walked into a fast-food chicken place and bought a n.....

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five i.....

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my o.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I.....

Mr. Smith wanted to become a teacher in the worst way, but the only jo.....

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New Yo.....

This man, his wife and their Border Collie, Maisy were out for a drive.....

The husband came home early from work and caught his wife in bed with.....

A woman has a problem with her closet door, it was falling every time.....

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for s.....

A husband had always been disdainful of people who, in his estimation,.....

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heati.....

An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many pe.....

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing.....

A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went.....

The wife heard her husband come back into the house not too long after.....

A rocket scientist is driving to work when his cell phone rings. "Hi,.....

A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Ta.....

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was

Every year, Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair. And eve.....

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were.....

A little girl asked her father, 'How did the human race appear?' The f.....

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in.....

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me......

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he h.....

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he.....

A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the l.....

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was.....

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.
"Give me one last re.....

Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". .....

Few short jokes Regardless of what you may hear, there's.....

Few short jokes Q: How many divorcees does it take to ch.....

Few short jokes Did you hear about the lawyer whose divo.....

Few short jokes You know the honeymoon is pretty much ov.....

Few short jokes Why was the broom late? It over swept !<.....

Few short jokes When Mr. Maxwell's wife left him he coul.....

Few short jokes What happened at the cannibal's wedding.....

Few short jokes This day holds a lot of meaning for me......

Few short jokes She was two thirds married once. What do.....

Few short jokes Q: What do you call two spiders who just.....

Few short jokes Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?

Few short jokes NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands.....

Few short jokes Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagem.....

Few short jokes It's not true that married men live long.....

Few short jokes I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I.....

Few short jokes Hey, you just shot my wife. I'm so sorry.....

Few short jokes BARTENDER: I think you've had enough, si.....

Few short jokes A little kid comes running into the back.....

Few short jokes A man brings his wife a glass of water a.....

Few short jokes "Oh love, what did you ever do to deserv.....

Few short jokes A couple is lying in bed. The man says,.....

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and ask.....

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.....

A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four smal.....

My girlfriend was looking for a used car to buy and showed me an ad sh.....

With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marri.....

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" S.....

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,.....

A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tel.....

A couple have been happily married for several years. One day, after r.....

A few minutes before the services started, the townspeople were sittin.....

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a Pest-c.....

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife w.....

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving a.....

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the.....

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particu.....

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I'.....

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and th.....

A woman came home to find her husband stalking the kitchen with a fly.....

A young couple got married and went on a cruise for their honeymoon.

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's.....

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her hu.....

With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been.....

Two men are talking. The first sez, "I got married because I was tired.....

The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to.....

Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of the divorce decre.....

Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a divo.....

Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed t.....

Ralph was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daught.....

Mrs. Caroline Squires of Cincinnati filed for a divorce from her husba.....

Miss DeAngelo was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Holly.....

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate.....

A ninety-year-old couple decide to get a divorce. They go to the judge.....

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husb.....

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge.....

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and as.....

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when t.....

A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to.....

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead.....

A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than me.....

Young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the b.....

When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend,.....

Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One n.....

Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladie.....

Two ladies were hanging out together and one was depressed. "What'.....

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One sig.....

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully.....

They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier,.....

There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of co.....

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one n.....

The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He took he.....

The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sw.....

The wedding was over, and the reception was in full swing. Dave an ush.....

The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his w.....

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze cla.....

The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort.....

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I h.....

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things aroun.....

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket a.....

The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing he.....

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and h.....

The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the.....

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, bright.....

The angry wife met her husband at the door. His breath stunk of alcoho.....

Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor,.....

Some people ask the secret of Anthony's long marriage. They take time.....

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a ma.....

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone wh.....

One of the bachelors in the apartment development sneaked up behind an.....

One night, Peter was home watching TV when his wife entered the room a.....

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept t.....

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the mi.....

Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench cr.....

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed......

Not that my wife's the jealous type or anything, but one day at work,.....

Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple.....

Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband kept under the.....

My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife.....

Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the pa.....

Mrs. Dugan and Mrs. Riley were talking one day about Mr. Riley and his.....

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie, " she said to her maid,.....

Miles Dobson was away from home on business in another city. When he c.....

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the m.....

Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent.....

Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the insurance co.....

Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just moved in ne.....

Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took.....

It's for my mother-in-law," explained the mourner at the funeral proce.....

In West Kerry, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you to.....

In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw a woman alo.....

I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a.....

I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different.....

Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?.....

Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the follow.....

For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on.....

Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneer.....

Casey married a rich widow, but they didn't get along. One day she sai.....

Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband said to yo.....

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the.....

At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women. Defe.....

At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for.....

A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wed.....

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die.....

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he.....

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated eac.....

An Irish couple, whose married bliss was not without a few "squalls" r.....

An Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vaca.....

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in.....

An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a sava.....

After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple fin.....

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain.....

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car.....

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you.....

A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her......

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother a.....

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so.....

A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks,.....

A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, moth.....

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy c.....

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl appr.....

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does.....

A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years.....

A jealous husband hires a private detective to check up on his wife. T.....

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the.....

A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on t.....

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. ".....

A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "Can you l.....

A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vega.....

A guy is dating three women and can't decide which one to marry. He gi.....

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from t.....

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend.....

A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just p.....

A couple have been happily married for several years. One day, after r.....

A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her......

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother a.....

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so.....

A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks,.....

A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, moth.....

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy c.....

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl appr.....

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does.....

A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years.....

A jealous husband hires a private detective to check up on his wife. T.....

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the.....

A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on t.....

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. ".....

A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "Can you l.....

A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vega.....

A guy is dating three women and can't decide which one to marry. He gi.....

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from t.....

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend.....

A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just p.....

A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-line da.....

A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father.....

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told.....

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a.....

A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother.....

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The mate.....

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. When.....

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domes.....

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wis.....

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says t.....

A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism.....

A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The.....

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to t.....

A biologist phones his wife from his office and says, "Honey, somethin.....

"You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in common" said.....

"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned.....

"The thrill is gone from my marriage" Brian told his best friend Mike......

"I was in a very generous mood today" a woman says to her friend. "I g.....

"I bet you don't know what day this is", said the wife to her husband.....

"Honey, " said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for.....

"Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was down.....

"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me.....

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished.....

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected their wedding rings. A.....

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the cou.....

Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host,.....

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man.....

Two guys from Daniels County are quietly sitting in a boat at Fort Pec.....

A woman and her husband were riding their Harley Electra Glide on vaca.....

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly th.....

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instea.....

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the chec.....

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening t.....

The lovers passionately embraced on her bed, their bodies fused togeth.....

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. H.....

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clock.....

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domes.....

Ole and Lena lived on a lake in Northern Minnesota. It was near the en.....

A woman had 3 girls. One day she decides to test her sons-in-law. She.....

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles pe.....

Wife: one evening, drew her husband's attention to the young couple ne.....

Bob was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows. "T.....

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing.....

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple brui.....

Jack Goldstein, an older gentleman, feared his wife, Becky, was gettin.....

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces.....

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning b.....

An elderly couple decides to get some ice cream. The old man opts to g.....

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,.....

A married couple driving home see a wounded skunk by the side of the r.....

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in th.....

A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was s.....

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.<.....

A priest is walking through the cemetary when he hears weeping. Thinki.....

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully.....

At the World Women's Conference the first speaker from England stood u.....

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go.....

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated eac.....

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the c.....

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid.....

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a wor.....

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished.....

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly.....

After a long night of intimacy, a young guy rolled over and was lookin.....

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving e.....

My wife the other day was looking through a fashion book. She was look.....

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they.....

There was a man who went to a baseball game. He buys a hot dog, and a.....

A married couple is in bed sleeping and someone knocks on the front do.....

DINNER CONVERSATION THAT WENT WRONG WIFE: " If I died first, wo.....

A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclu.....

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who.....

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.<.....

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th .....

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was.....

A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bed side.....

A wealthy man sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news.....

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees.....

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a mos.....

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his m.....

It's all about looking out for the One You Love Be careful what.....

An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through.....

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to.....

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned.....

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out.....

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A:.....

Friendship Between Women: A woman didn't come home one night.

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wed.....

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable,.....

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and.....

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully.....